Author: meredithallen

it gets intimate as i reveal the deep dark secrets…of my Netflix queue.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my Netflix recommendations:
Suspenseful TV Dramas Featuring a Strong Female Lead

Am I a feminist and never realized it? Or is my obsession with Revenge not a particularly well-kept secret?

Classic Witty Romantic Comedies

What can I say? I’m a classy witty chick who likes to laugh. No questions here.

British Crime TV Shows from the 1980s

here’s the only reasoning I was given:

Your taste preferences created this row:

  • 1980s
  • TV shows

Lol oh Netflix… Who doesn’t love the 1980s and TV shows, honestly?

Critically-Acclaimed Visually-Striking Foreign Dramas

This is where it gets a bit weird. Sorry cinema snobs, but critically acclaimed movies are usually sad or require me to think – not exactly what I’m looking for in entertainment. Also I hate subtitles. Fail, Netflix.

Feel-Good Talking-Animal Animation for ages 8 to 10

Uhhh….awkward. Not that I don’t love feel-good talking-animal animation, actually. Have y’all seen Despicable Me?! Adorbs. It’s just awkward to see this listed with such a specific age group. (Is this indicative of my comprehension level of movies? No wonder I don’t like critically-acclaimed visually-striking foreign dramas!)

Inspiring Biographical Fight-the-System Documentaries

The title of this row makes me go “huh?” Then I saw the first recommendation is about Ben and Jerry building their empire and go “ohhhh.” It’s like Netflix really knows I’d like to be highbrow but love ice cream too much. Whoa, complex. This probably means the rise of the machines can’t be too far off.

Emotional Independent Father-Son Movies

Umm what? I don’t even…..huh? Scratch that last rise of the machines prediction – Netty can’t even get my gender right.

Gritty Thrillers

This probably says a lot more about me than my subconscious preference for strong female leads.

Violent Action & Adventure Based on Real Life

It’s like Netflix refuses to believe I’m a girl. Or is trying to convince me to get in touch with my inner masculine side. (There is nothing wrong with that, right? Completely normal for a chick to be into violent action. Somebody reassure me! …please?)

*Not listed: a bunch of quirky things. Quirky Sitcoms and Quirky TV Shows, etc. What can I say? Apparently I’m quirky. It does have a nicer ring to it than ‘odd,’ which is what I’m used to. So I guess thanks for that, Netty.

what do hockey players look like under all that padding?

I will definitely be attending a few Colorado Eagles games this season – my hotshot is what you call a pretty big fan. I used to dismiss it as just an adorable quirk of his, but in the last couple of seasons I’ve gone from “Eagles? Why not just keep driving and watch some professional hockey in Denver” to a self-proclaimed big fan. See, people can change!

Besides, any sport that this can happen in a fit of anger has my vote:

I wasn’t at this actual game, unfortunately. But if this is how the assistant coach channels his anger, I’ll keep sticking around to see if it happens again. No shame here.

I actually met this coach on Saturday night. After an exciting game we headed over to  the after show at this restaurant/bar in town – a fun post-game tradition where the owner, coaches, and a few players will show up and chat with everybody. FYI y’all, sometimes the players are hard to recognize – the look very different cleaned up and in person than with a helmet on or in their PR photos.

But we did recognize the Eagles owner, Mr. Backstrom, and the aforementioned Assistant Coach “Greatest Temper Tantrum by an Adult in Public Ever” Pankewicz. Let me set the scene: A bar, a band just started playing, and a lot of people – fans, groupies and drunks. So we spot the owner and head over to shake his hand – I was so nervous! How do you tell somebody you hope to be as rich as him someday and by the way is he in the market for a young personal assistant or intern/chauffer or anyyyything? – so I panicked and just said “great game!” He said (he is an older gentleman and remember that band is playing not twenty feet away from us) something I couldn’t hear but kind of gestured to the assistant coach sitting next to him. I assumed it was “oh I had nothing to do with it” or something more eloquent than just the “nope” I thought he said at the time. So he gestures to Coach Pankewicz and I make the move to shake his hand and then one of those oh this will be hilarious! ideas popped into my head so I lean in and go “Nice to meet you! I’m really looking forward to you taking all your clothes off on the ice again this season.”

Yes. I said that. To a stranger.

That video was taken two seasons ago and I’m sure he’s sick of hearing about it (or, as I like to imagine, secretly thinks what he did was awesome). He just gave a kind of an embarrassed chuckle and just kept saying “oh no, oh no, oh no” in some kind of Canadian/Minnesotan/Far North accent so I just flashed him a smile and got out of there before I started laughing too hard to ruin the moment.

I’ve never felt so conspicuous or awesome at the same time. It was glorious.

>>>

Girly shoutout/hotshot brag: On our way out of the bar we had to cross the empty dance floor right in front of the band, so my hotshot turned, gave me a spin and a dip, then led me out of the place without missing a beat. That handsome fella knows how to make an exit, y’all!

Confessions of a living baseball jinx

I have a confession to make. I am the reason my beloved Rangers lost this week to the Orioles. My southern hospitality and amazing hostess manners are to blame.

I loaned my lucky #32 Rangers shirt to a friend in duress (she needed a change of clothes for a walk of shame just a walk! a plain ol walk somewhere!) about a month or so ago – and the Rangers consistently put up poor performances since then, Josh Hamilton especially. I can’t believe it took me until Friday night to notice (and frantic texts/phone calls to please return a ratty old t-shirt to the other side of town immediately were not received very well), but there you have it. All. My. Fault. I’m a little afraid to come clean to all those intimidating guys but the air needs to be cleared, yall! Probably shouldn’t offer to buy Hamilton a drink…think he likes brownies? Ron Washington looks like a pie guy, amiright? Is this punishment for being friends with a Rockies fan?

Sidenote: Does anybody know where/how I can reach Josh Hamilton to apologize?

Second sidenote: How well does pie travel by mail?

we had some good times, me and my lucky shirt

wherein I have a spidery freak out.

This post did not begin with a freak out. It was supposed to be some hopefully funny but insightful observation/commentary, yada yada. Except as I was sitting at my desk typing when (it all happened so fast!) a spider straight up descended from my ceiling at a high rate of speed, dropped onto my key board, and then crawled in my USB port. TRUE STORY.

A true story, I might add, that I am typing from the library now.

Because I committed mistake #1 when dealing with spiders: I lost sight of it. Luckily I am awesome in emergency situations, so I had a five minute girly shrieking freak out took a quick second to compose myself and then very calmly shut my computer, got up and left the house. Like any sane person would do.

The question remains: what do I do when I get home? Do I even need to go home? Anybody have a couch I can crash on for a few nights?

I can’t say this thought didn’t cross my mind.

it’s been a funny weekend.

Because I found this on the interwebs:

I know it’s not PC, but go ahead and try not to giggle.

The fact that somebody went to the trouble to make this at all makes me smile:

Also I saw this: 

Who is this guy? Besides my new youtube crush, obviously.

And in honor of Halloween decorations and candy having been on display in stores for a few weeks now, ladies and gentlemen I present to you :

bros at a haunted house

(here are a few of my favs)

Find some more hiiiiiilarious pics here.

…and now you all know I have the sense of humor of a ten year old boy.

The ol’ gridiron (that’s a saying, right?)

Anybody else go to the CSU game this weekend? I did. Sad. I thought the staff changes were supposed to revitalize the program (Have I mentioned I’m really into instant gratification?). Oh well, nothing a new stadium can’t fix right?!

I actually didn’t get to watch the whole game, although I was there for fifteen hours. Did y’all notice all those people in yellow shirts keeping the peace? Givin ya a sweet pat down when you came in the game? I was in charge of them! …and when I say in charge, I really mean I just hand out those lovely yellow shirts. It was a long day, but there were a few parts that made it seem not so bad. It wasn’t the first time I’ve been here, but being stationed in the tunnel right next to the locker room won’t get old anytime soon.

lookin good, boys!

But the best part was in the morning, not even an hour after sunrise. I walked out of the tunnel and just stood there in awe. I love the quiet of an empty football field. I’m not sure what’s better – in the morning when there is anticipation and excitement in the air, or after the game when the air is still and cool, and you can feel the determination and effort everybody left on the field no matter the game outcome. Either way, it’s pretty magical.

good mornin!

Fifteen hours on one paycheck doesn’t hurt, either.

ah. the life of an english major.

Well y’all, I got too excited. I knew watching Hoosiers as a homework assignment was too good to be true. The movie has been pretty much ruined for me by – yup you guessed it – Reaganomics. (kind of).

We had to read a journal article about the film, of course. And it really bummed me out opened my eyes to a couple of things that I’m not completely sold on:

I learned that a 1980s movie about a 1950s event reflected more on the ‘80s and less on the ‘50s. Apparently this is problematic. And racist. (See: Basketball’s great white hope and Ronald Reagan’s America: Hoosiers [1986])

I also learned that in the real story the film is based on, the team that won only did so because there was no shot clock at the time and they would just HOLD THE BALL to slow down the pace of the game. Sometimes they would hold it for three or four minutes before they shot! This is ridiculous and only adds to my general suspicion of people from Indiana.

To sum it up, academia has basically ruined Hoosiers for me.

Have anybody seen Hoosiers recently? What did y’all think of the film?

if I had known then what I know now…

ahh, the life of an english major…

Not to brag, but this is my homework tonight:

intense academic stuff going on here

(And I’m totally bragging.)

playing house

I house sat this weekend. Can you believe people trust me with their home and five pets? Me neither. They trust me with their kids a lot, too. I guess “fake it ‘till you make it” is working for me in the house/child/pet sitting world! (JOKE! I am very responsible when it comes to things that are important to other people). So I spent this weekend playing with three dogs, honing my Mario Bros skills, trying to make cats like me, hanging out in the hot tub – life is pretty good.

Except…

Except I swore to myself I would get ahead on my homework. Papers, blog posts, readings – I was just going to take some time to myself out here in the suburbs, no bicycle tempting me to go for a spin, no old town calling me, no household chores calling to me. I was going to spend some quality time with my school work.

But I forgot how awesome I am. Spending time with myself rocks! I pretty much didn’t get any studying or writing done – forget trying to get ahead. I forgot how nice it is to be in a house alone, how nice it is to raid somebody else’s kitchen, how silly three dogs can get, how awesome having a hot tub to yourself is, how stressful a cat who doesn’t take her Prozac is, how imperative it suddenly is to keep up with kardashians via (a slightly shameful) marathon. Mostly I guess I forgot how quickly time slips away when you think you have all the time in the world. So readers, I’d like to leave you with these words of wisdom:

Don’t take your time for granted.

Appreciate ‘me’ time when you get the chance to take it.

Forget about things you can’t undo.

An ice cream sundae in the hot tub is just as awesome as it sounds.

1/3 of the menagerie

et tu, Friday?

I had a lot of regrets on Friday.

I regretted sleeping in (luckily this came later in the day – I had no regrets at 7 am! Or 8! Or 9!).

I regret paying $1.35 for a candy bar that got stuck in the vending machine.

I regret that I am too shy to wiggle a vending machine in front of a bunch of strangers. (I needed that twix, yall!)

About ten minutes into class, I regretted sitting next to a trash can that somebody threw (judging by the smell) week old banana peels in.

I regret stopping this afternoon to offer help to a guy in apparent automobile distress – no wait, I don’t regret that. I regret that I didn’t notice he was in the parking lot of a mechanic shop and wearing a mechanic uniform with the name of the shop on it before I stopped and offered my help.

I just realized I was describing my typical Monday. This was a Friday, people.

I think regret is a natural part of human nature and a useful learning tool. Maybe because regret stems from reflection and self assessment – both things humans are good at in a completely skewed, self-centric kind of way. The learning process insists that we look back and judge ourselves. Often we may be disappointed, usually because we expect more of ourselves. This disappointment, for me at least, generally culminates in regret – I like to think it’s because I have high expectations for myself – followed by a learning moment. I get confused when people insist on having no regrets. Is there a learning process that YOLOers get and I don’t? And which approach is better to live by?

Last Friday I learned to pay more attention to my surroundings and to get over myself when there is a candy bar on the line.