Ryokan Adventure!

We got on the bullet train for about an hour ride north of Tokyo, hopped on a shuttle in a tiny town for an hour ride – and our van died going up the mountain! It was pretty high, with snow still on the mountain tops and about 55-60 degrees when we got there. Another shuttle came to rescue us.

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We got there, they took our shoes (!), gave us some horrible slippers and served us some sort of savory hot tea. Then we got to pick out our yukata (a cotton robe with a sash – they had different sizes in a lot of different patterns. The guys tried to choose girl ones at first. The staff, and Sarah and I, were pretty amused by that!), and were escorted up to our rooms. Not much furniture – just a large, low coffee table and four cushions with backs. The floors were tatami, rice straw mats but surprisingly cushy.

view from our window
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7 am – too excited to take pics when we got there
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7 am – a great time to get the onsen to yourself!

We changed and went exploring! There was an inside bath for male and female, as well as three huge outside mixed baths and one female-only, on either side of a roaring river with several falls. There were four bears and some bunnies, as well as several different lodging buildings. There were little paths to stepping stones, water falls, little altars, statues and gazebos everywhere. To go outside, you had to trade your inside slippers for one-size-for each sex, wooden, outdoor only flip flops. The women’s were way too small for me, and the men’s were way too big.

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outside slippies
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inside slippies

The women had to wear a brown sack-like bathing dress, and the men had to use a hand towel to cover up – and that was it. Entire families, old people and babies were all just sitting around, enjoying the warm waters of the onsen (hot springs).

We had to be in our room by 6:30 for dinner. They came in, took away our big table and brought us each our own TV tray. (Joke!) The was a smaller version of the coffee table with quite a spread on it.

The lady who brought in our food told us how to cook and eat what, but there was so much stuff there we could only retain part of it!

Some of my favorites: A tiny, tiny glass of iced sweet, juice-like sochu (she told us was an appetizer) sashimi (we think river trout and salmon?), baby octopi, mushrooms, a potato shaped like a mushroom (so it would look good, she told us!) and a tiny fish we grilled over our own little charcoal fire pot and noodles with some ham, veg and a little broth that we added an egg to and cooked over a little flame.

My least favorites: A glob of fermented soy bean paste, pieces of seaweed jelly, a big ol squishy square of soba noodle, a giant pickle wrapped in a giant pickled radish, and a rice/potato pudding that had the same slimy texture as my least favorite thing in the entire world <link>.

We also had egg custard soup, vegetable tempura (green plants!), salt, soy sauce and other things for dipping, and cuttlefish.

Twenty minutes later, we were pretty full but she bought us all a bowl of rice and BEAR MISO SOUP. (There are signs to put visitors at ease; we do not eat the bears that are kept on the property. Although apparently they used to bath with visitors in the past.) The bear just tasted like meat in a soup, nothing special.

bear soup!

 

After dinner, we went back into the onsen while they set up our beds. Futons on the ground were laid out with pillows filled with we think rice husks. It was surprisingly comfortable and John is going to try and find a pillow like that for his bed!


The next morning we woke up early and had a dip, then went to breakfast. We ordered three western breakfasts and one Japanese one the night before. They were basically the same but the western breakfast had toast, a croissant, coffee and minestrone (yup), and the Japanese breakfast had miso soup, rice, some other strange items we couldn’t identify and a strange leaf-packet of beans with a packet of mustard. They both had salads, a raw egg, bacon, fish and cauliflower that needed to be cooked on individual griddle things. After breakfast, we packed up, got our shoes back (!), and headed back to Tokyo.

 

mysterious Japanese breakfast

 

Western breakfast

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Green Tea & Geisha

Today we had the best sushi so far. We aren’t even sure what we had and it was still my favorite! One of the pieces had what looked like grated cheese on top – it definitely wasn’t a diary product, but we still aren’t sure what it was. Some of it was boxed sushi, which we think is Kyoto-style. 


We were heading to a tea shop next when we spotted a good looking tree down a small alley off a busy commercial road. We detoured and found a huge temple, with two monks playing the drums and one chanting. I popped my head in there to watch, and it was very surreal and cool, but then I realized others were not watching, but worshipping, so I left. 


We went to an old timey tea shop for an afternoon treat – green tea and a Japanese sweet! It looked kind of like a pharmacy – the workers were in white lab coats, and the shop still had wooden boxes and clay jars with tea stored in them. They brought John’s tea and then taught him how to make it – pour it from one cup to another four times (in four different cups), then set the timer for 90 secs and steep, then enjoy. But only 60 seconds for the second cup, since it’s already hot. I got matcha, which they did not let me make! Must be complicated.

any good?
great! (so great he bought some to take home)
my treats

Next we headed to Gion to go geisha-hunting (it’s a thing!). Gion is one of the most active modern geisha districts. There were a ton of people doing the same thing we were doing – so picture a crowd of people trying to play it cool but still peeking their heads around corners and whipping their heads around any time a taxi stopped. A pretty funny phenomenon, plus it made me feel less weird about looking for women who were just going to work. They are basically professional party hostesses, not prostitutes like I kind of thought (sorry). We didn’t see any geisha, though. The area had small streets, old buildings and was very hushed, so it was still a cool area to see.


For dinner, we had ramen that was smoker then before – quite tasty but very rich.

Nightingales & Noodles

This morning, we got up early to try and beat the tourist crowds to the bamboo forest. We didn’t beat all of them, but it still wasn’t too bad. Then we walked around the residential neighborhood behind the bamboo forest. We came upon a pond with a shed-sized shrine, and we’re walking toward it when a monkey ambled out of the woods toward us. It was bigger than Piyo, and was pretty casual about whatever errand it was on – until a couple of big ol crows came swooping in toward a tree. That monkey took off, up a pole, across some limbs and disappeared into the same tree, and then there was a lot of noises and leaf shaking. We decided not to get in the middle of it, and walked the other way. Then we wandered around the neighborhood, checking out the yards and houses. There was a couple of temples and some shrines just tucked in among the residential properties. It was nice to get away from the tourists.


We could not find a breakfast place, or any place open, until around 11 when we got back to the tourist area, so we decided to try soba again (this time at a place that had good yelp reviews). Having been scared off the cold soba, we both got hot soup – which wasn’t exactly what we were looking for. Then we noticed everybody else in the room had cold dipping noodles – apparently the correct way to eat cold soba. Next time!


We hit the Nijō Castle, built in the 1600s and totally comade of Japanese cypress. There were no pictures allowed inside the building, but the grounds were beautiful. My favorite part is that the castle has ‘Nightingale’ floors, which were wooden floorboards made to purposefully squeak so the shogun would know if somebody was coming for him in the middle of the night. With all the tourists walking around, it really sounded like they had piped a recording of birds in there – until I was lucky enough to get to a room that was almost empty and realized the noise really was just the floorboards.


John wanted to find a shop near the castle that had woodworking tools, so we went to find a cafe with wifi. What we ended up at was the Charanke Jam House, which smelled like patchouli, had rock lamps, tables that looked like tree stumps, plants everywhere, and a real Colorado-kind of vibe. ‘Charanke’ is an Ainu (native Japanese tribe) word that means ‘Talking Circle.’ The Ainu (according to the menu) kept the country in peace for more than 10000 years by living together in an open and democratic society. We were the only people in there, and the guy behind the counter did not speak very good English. But after he served us, he gave us a deck of oracle cards and showed us how to … do something. You bang your fist on the deck three times, then choose a card. I got one that was basically about embracing your need to dance and happy energy, and John got one that told him he needed to relax, and maybe try a hot springs.


The tool shop was closed, and it was starting to rain so we crossed the street to this covered pedestrian walkway and strolled around. A lot of the shops were closed or closing – we later discovered this was a big local market. We really really had to use the restroom, so we popped in this fish shop with a baseball game playing on the tv, pieces of wood balanced on crates for tables, more crates for seats, and styrofoam coolers lining the floor and a deli-like counter with suuuuper fresh seafood, waiting to be prepared. At one point a guy plucked a wiggly thing in a shell from the styrofoam box next to us, threw it on a plate with garnish, and give it to a guy a few tables down! It was full of Japanese people (always a good sign!), and after we sat down there ended up being a wait. The staff spoke very limited English – they brought over a phrase book to ask if it was ok if two other people could share a giant table with the two of us. We weren’t exactly hungry so we decided to order just something little.


We were given a sheet in English, and checked three things – tuna, salmon with cheese, and fish sausage with cheese. The guys next to us had raw fish so we kind of thought that’s what we would get. The guy brought us three tiny skewers. Apparently that was all we had ordered – three tiny little fried pieces. It was only $3 for everything, which made sense but still – Too funny!


There was a random shirt displayed hanging up in the restroom, so I tried to use my translation app to ask if I could buy it. After a lot of confusion, smiles and shoulder shrugging, she got permission to sell us a grey staff shirt (not the one hanging up, but still cool) – but she only had one. It wasn’t 100% cotton, but John wanted one and doesn’t care about the fabric makeup of his clothes. After we paid, she bought over a pink tshirt, and the translation of ‘old clothes’ on her phone, and gave it to me for free! Plus it was 100% cotton! I was so excited. After we walked away, I got the giggles because I was (and still am!) so excited about being given a used staff shirt!


Time for real dinner – a ramen adventure! There was no windows and we had to slide open this tiny (about 5 foot high) door to a hallway where people were lined up to order from a machine. You hit the buttons of what you would like, pay and it prints out a ticket – this is pretty common, even at kind of nicer places you wouldn’t expect. While we were waiting, the door opened behind us and our American friends popped in! What are the odds?! (Very, very slim, we decided. They just found this restaurant because the one they were looking for was closed. it wasn’t even a destination, must-eat place or anything.) This food ordering machine was all in Japanese, so we asked the guy in front of us to help. He spoke very limited English, and John and I both got our translators favorite. When he showed us a button for beer, and a button next to it and said ‘rice,’ I assumed he meant rice wine and hit it. After we waited just a short while longer for an open seat at a counter that maybe 10-12 seats, we handed the cooks our tickets. Instead of rice wine, I got a side of rice plus a raw egg! We all got a kick out of that. The ramen was rich and warming – perfect for a rainy evening in Kyoto.

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Khàwp Ja̖i Lãi Lãi, Tamarind!

Khàwp jai lãi lãi means thank you very much in Laos (sounds to me like hop jie la lie – but then again, I got some laughs so that might not be right!).

Tamarind is a delicious brown lumpy thing that tastes waayyy better then it looks. Also, the name of my new favorite restaurant in Laos. (Sorry, JOMA!)

Our guest house was only a block down the road from the restaurant so on our first night in town we strolled in to have dinner, and were turned away because they were full. (Must be good!) We made a reservation, and noticed a posting saying the next vacancies for the cooking class was the night class two nights away. So we signed up for the cooking class right then, too. We ate the next night, and then the class was the night after.

We began our quality time with Tamarind at dinner with a set Laos specialty menu. Lao people love them some sticky rice. They eat it with everything. The most common utensil they use is their hands, which was a nice break for my on-again, off-again chopstick skills.

The set menu started off with several kinds of jeow, which are dipping sauces for the sticky rice. There were also some sausages, water buffalo jerky and other relishes, along with these river seaweed-stuff chips that I was really digging.

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not pictured: a basket of sticky rice

Next was vegetable and bamboo soup. It was alright. I didn’t really like texture of water-logged bamboo.

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We had herbal fish steamed in a banana leaf.

it's like a present!
it’s like a present!

Stir fried young pumpkin with kaffir lime and ginger and lemongrass stuffed with chicken. It looked crazy complicated. It came with this great peanut sauce that I couldn’t get enough of!

pumpkin, chicken and a goodie bag of fish!
pumpkin, chicken and a goodie bag of fish!

Purple sticky rice in coconut milk with tamarind sauce and some Lao “cat poop” (terrible nickname) candy – palm sugar and rice flour I think – for dessert!

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yes…just yes.

The next afternoon, we showed up at the restaurant for class. We had a glass of super-bomb lemongrass/lime aid (a lime lemongrass twist!), then hopped into a songthaew to be transported to the cooking school. It was about ten minutes’ ride to the school grounds, where the employees also live. It was besides a bubbling stream, next to a pond filled with water lilies. There were cooking stations set up under an awning in the fresh air, with a nice breeze and the sounds of the stream filling the air. There was also a garden where they grow their own fresh herbs, and stations set up with traditional flower-pot grills (hey, I just call em like I see em).

what are these called?
what are these called?

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It turned out that we learned to cook the exact menu from the previous night, including the standard sticky rice and my favorite, the sweet purple sticky rice. I could eat that every day, so no complaints here!

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learnin’

We also got to chose which jeow we made – I went with an eggplant based one and Ma went with the tomato one. There are different eggplants here than in America, and I like these much better. We grilled the vegetables before mortar-and-pestling them, so it was nice and smokey. We also gift wrapped those fish in banana leaves and steamed ’em.

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wrappin’
steaming basket
steamin’

The lemongrass stuffed with chicken was much easier than it looked. Mom’s gluten intolerance was the only food allergy, although one lady couldn’t (or wouldn’t) eat pork, and one simply refused to eat any chicken (two of my favorite things!). They simply switched ingredients around for the ladies, and even let me stuff my lemongrass with pork since we had chicken the night before.

fry captain
fry captain

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After all the cooking, we feasted! Besides Mom and me, there was an Australian lady planning on making the lemongrass chicken for her family’s Christmas dinner, a girl traveling solo from Singapore and a couple of older Dutch women who rolled their own cigarettes and smoked with reckless abandon (as you do). The water lillies opened up while we were eating, which I had never seen actually happen before. Magical.

yum!
yum!

I’ve really enjoyed both the cooking classes we’ve taken, but they were both two different experiences. It was nice to have other people to chat with this time, and our instructor, Chai, and I are big pals now. At dinner, we all talked about our travels and future plans, and in fact ended up on the same airplane later to Hanoi with the Australian lady and her husband.

i made these!
i made these! (that’s a sticky rice basket on the right – keeps it from drying out)

We totally went back to Tamarind for lunch the next day to try something different – don’t judge! We had pork wrapped in lemongrass skewers, my favorite jeow – jeow bong, which is a sweet and spicy chili paste. Mom had a pumpkin & coconut milk soup, served with a giant rice cracker. We also got some little candies for dessert, and some cold dessert soup – coconut milk with jellies and tapioca in it.

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great last lunch in laos!
dessert
dessert

Before Laos, I had decided that I didn’t particularly care for the taste of lemongrass, but after the past few days I have come to like it. Maybe it’s the combinations I’ve tried here that I hadn’t had previously. I was also really into that lime lemongrass twist!

Making Moves

We found ourselves this morning at Angel’s Secrets again. This time, fresh orange juice and a beyond delicious chocolate croissant for me and a smoothie and oatmeal for Mom. Still my new favorite place! We planned to bop around town a little, but we saw a severe weather alert for northern Thailand and decided to move on. No time to weather a flood on this vacation!

As we were walking back to our hotel, we stopped to check out a temple. There were these ladies selling birds right outside, so you could release them inside for Buddhist points. I wonder if and where those old ladies caught all those birds?

bird ladies
the birds are in the wooden baskets

We caught a ride to the bus station with the tuk-tuk driver that hung out at the 7-11 near our hotel every morning. Every morning he tried to rip us off, and every morning we laughed.

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we finally take him up on his offer

We bought some snacks and hopped on the green bus to Chiang Rai, a swanky ride with plenty of leg room, reclining seats, and a stewardess with free cookies and water. It was classy!

bus snacks! (mine were terrible)
bus snacks! hot chili squid and american cheesy paprika potato chips (not clear why they are american?)

We got to Chiang Rai, used the free wifi in the bus station, and found a guesthouse. We got a tuk-tuk to take us there – turns out it was two blocks away! Oh well, it lessened our chance of getting lost while carrying our packs. :)

We checked in and walked to the night market for dinner. They were selling the same ol’ stuff, but they had a ton of food stalls. They have two different stages, one in front of the food stalls and one in front of a restaurant. We chose the restaurant, and had a delightful dinner while a trio played acoustic instruments on stage.

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One thing I don’t understand about Thai street food is that they fry stuff at the beginning of the night, and then set it out for you to buy and eat cold. My mom thinks they might drop it back in the fryer real quick or something when you purchase it, but I don’t know. One thing I just can’t roll with is cold French fries, which were everywhere!

Cooking! And Eating! (and eating and eating…)

This morning we had breakfast at my new favorite little restaurant. It was called Angel’s Secrets, and I had some fab French toast and tea. Mom had some coffee with a jasmine tea chaser (which apparently is customary in this part of the world) and a delicious fruit parfait. Yum! It was a cute little place, and I recommend it to anybody traveling through Chiang Mai. (They have free WiFi, too.)

you'll see this pose a lot this post!
you’ll see this pose a lot this post!

After breakfast, we walked to a massage place that we saw advertised on a bulletin board at the restaurant. We opted for one hour coconut oil massages this time – a little more relaxing than traditional Thai massages!

Feeling good, we walked back to our hotel to be picked up by the cooking school we booked a class with. Turns out, we had Tak and Cooking at Home to ourselves! We drove first to a market out of the center/tourist area of town. In a rice shop, she explained to us about how the rice is harvested and how to best use the variations for for cooking.

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We also went to a coconut shop, where we watched a guy make coconut cream.

i think i'll stick to buying it at the store!
i think i’ll stick to buying it at the store!

She pointed out various other fruits and vegs to us, then gathered some ingredients for our class and headed to the school, which was in the backyard of the house where she lived with her sisters family.

the set up
the set up

We hung out on the back patio while everything was set up.

my mom adapted very well to thai cooking!
my mom seems to have adapted very well to thai cooking!
the view
the view

Tak would demonstrate a dish while we watched, and then we would replicate it at our own station. The exception was dessert – we made sticky rice and coconut topping together as a group, since you only need a little and there were three of us.

the action
the action

The menu:

Pad Thai with prawns
Green chicken curry
Tom Yum soup with prawns
Sticky rice with mango (my fav!)

so, so good
so, so good

After we cooked each course, we would eat!

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I handled myself quite well, thank you (only had problems with a tomato rose garnish). One of my favorite things we’ve done so far, but sooo much food! Tak brought us back to our hotel, overly full and satisfied.

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We Out-Bizarre Foods the Bizarre Foods Guy

At seven am we hit an appointment market near Koi and Cotton’s house. They had everything there. Clothes for your traditional and modern needs. Shoes. Fruit. Soup. Live turtles in baskets. French fries. DVDs. Vegetables. Beats by Dre. Live fish flopping around. Candy. Sweets. Crepes. Diapers. Fermented fish. A baby elephant. People everywhere. It was nuts.

Yes, I said baby elephant.

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i think the term ‘fire ant eggs’ was mentioned, (top left corner) – although i’m not certain

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We wondered through several aisles of stalls and carts in front of a temple, asking questions about Thai fruit that we had never seen, or surprise treats wrapped in banana leaves. We tasted some green candy/jello stuff, some tiny grilled balls of coconut-y goodness (I have been on a search for them ever since, haven’t been able to find them yet!), some skewered things – and we bought much more for breakfast.

 

Kanom Krok
i can not get enough!
frogs for lunch
frogs for lunch, anybody?

We stopped to feed a baby elephant, which I had some qualms about. You aren’t supposed to encourage this sort of behavior and it feeds into a vicious cycle of possible abuse or poverty-driven neglect. But when you are standing next to a baby elephant, with somebody telling you this is how these teenage boys make money to feed the elephant and themselves, it’s hard to say no.

After the elephant, we moved on to durian.

http://youtu.be/-o_1qillkJs?t=2m38s

(Skip to 2:38 for durian-specifics, although I’ve tried fish maw soup and horseshoe crab roe salad, and now kind of think Andrew Zimmern might be a wuss.)

As we were waiting in line for the vendor (a little old lady with two oven mitts on one hand to handle the prickly fruit), I thought to myself – this doesn’t smell so bad. As we stood there a little longer, a terrible smell gradually took over. “A-ha! I get it now,” I thought. Just as I began to inwardly hype myself up to taste this famed smelly fruit, Cotton told us he wanted to show us something Thai people really liked that he just could not develop a taste for in all his years in Thailand. We turned around and walked a few feet, and there was a vendor selling fermented fish.

fermented fish
definitely not fruit!

Durian doesn’t have anything but a mildly fruity smell, y’all. Twelve buckets of various blends of rotting fish three feet behind you, however, does. Thai people use it for seasoning, and Cotton and Koi keep a bucket of it in their kitchen. I just can’t. Durian, however, tastes pretty good. It’s kind of a weird texture, but it smells fine.

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durian vendor

Some fruit, soups, curries, sticky rice and fried pork were on the breakfast menu that morning. People in Asia don’t really seem to differentiate breakfast food from other food, so even though the pork soup or noodles with beef sounds good for lunch or dinner, it simply doesn’t appeal to me at eight am. Maybe that’s just me? I did get down on some fried pork.

We headed back to Bangkok after breakfast, stopping along the way to check out a Tesco Lotus – the Thai version of a super Target, just to see what’s going on. Generally, Thai people prefer the fresh market, but you could get some imported stuff – cheese! most importantly to Cotton. Asian people don’t really eat cheese (except, of course, royal cheese). I hadn’t noticed it before, but since then I have not seen anything with cheese that wasn’t Western food.

We went back to the Bourbon Street Hotel, got checked back in and resettled. “Who feels like a rub?” Cotton asked, as he explained that he and Koi haven’t really found a place they like out near where they live. So we went down the street, to the same massage place as earlier that week. This time we opted for the two hour Thai massage. Having barely conquered the pants last time, I did some asking around and was feeling confident in my ability to dress myself. Which is great, except this time my pants didn’t have drawstrings. I just pulled them on and laid down, and it worked out fine. Until I got up to use the restroom (gotta release those toxins somehow!) and my pants fell down. The masseuses closest to me and I all started giggling, and I’m sure we disrupted a few relaxed people. Eh, what are you gonna do?

The massage was intense, and I seriously thought about tapping out at one point (I was on my stomach, she was crouching on the back of my thighs, pressing her knees into my lower back and hands full force into my shoulder blades), but I figured I must have needed it. Besides, by the time I thought all that through, it was over and I was alive. My mom and I both felt awesome the next day, although both of us had a few more bruises to show for it.

After our massages, we went to eat at a delicious little Italian restaurant that Koi and Cotton like to get their foie gras fix when they’re in Bangkok (ah I’ve been missing you, carbs!). After some joking, wait, are you serious, I’m serious if you’re serious discussion, we decided to return to the massage place next to our hotel (yes, the one we just left) and all get another one hour foot massage. I didn’t realize reflexology was a part of a Thai foot massage, so I was very confused when she started poking the bottoms of my feet with a stick. For massage newbies: foot massages also included your calves, arms, shoulders, neck and head. Quite nice for a fraction of the price of a traditional massage.

So far, I am thinking there is no such thing as too much massage – especially when they come this cheap! Judge me if you want, but I hope the other countries we are visiting have a vibrant (and not-sketchy) massage culture. :)

Trip Massage Total: 4 hours

Food, Family and Fresh Air

We got up this morning to meet my mom’s cousin, Cotton, had a nice catch up, and then he took us to the Queen-sponsored Thai handicrafts shop (so you know they were made by actual Thai people with Thai material). We also swung by The Erawan Shrine (one of many, many sacred spots in the city), and Cotton explained some of the Buddhist traditions to us. Apparently we were in the middle of a holiday weekend, sort of like a Buddhist version of Lent. We saw people leaving flowers and lighting incense, buying birds and releasing them, and ladyboys dancing. It was, um… different than how we do it in Baptist land.

buy 'em here...
buy ’em here…
...leave 'em here
…leave ’em here

For lunch we ate at a real (read: not touristy) Thai restaurant near where Cotton and his wife, Koi, used to live. He ordered a bunch of different things for us to taste. “That’s medium?!” I asked as I started sweating after one bite. Whew!

After lunch, we hopped in the car for an hour or so to where Cotton and Koi work and live. We picked up Koi and their adorable grandbaby, Best. Apparently everybody in Thailand has a nickname, as Thai names tend to be long. Some of them are very, um, honest (fat, toad, fish). I guess Best got the best of that deal. :)

We drove a little further down the road to Bang Sean for a sea side picnic. Koi and Cotton ordered for us from a stand they like to eat from. Each stand had a few of it’s own little tables on mats on a concrete pier right next to the ocean. We took our shoes off and sat on the mat around a two-foot tall table.

the set up
the set up

And we feasted.

A server brought us two types of green papaya salad, a hot pot of soup, crab legs, giant prawns, horseshoe crab egg salad, some different types of soup and some other things I didn’t catch what they were – but I tried them! We had so much food they had to bring a second table.

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Only one thing made me seriously sweat, but general consensus is that I might have eaten a “rat shit” pepper, a terrifying tiny little thing that Thai people put in dang near everything. Yikes! I also ate some things you aren’t supposed to eat, like the stalk of lemongrass in one of the curries (then why put it in there?). We had beer and wine, sat on the ground with the ocean waves crashing on rocks behind us and a market and a concert going on in front of us.

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Sigh. It was fabulous.

Wait, what’s for dinner?

After our great wall adventure, we decided it was high time for a traditional Chinese massage. Our driver Victor recommended a place near our hostel that was next to a Peking duck restaurant (one that was cheaper than the touristy one the guidebooks and internet recommends), which we had expressed interest in.

The owner of the massage parlor, Fora, began chatting with us and it turns out she studied at Texas Tech before finishing her degree at UTD. Small world! She was stoked to tell us about her conversion to Christianity, and that all of her employees are Christians as well. Very cool. The massages were awesome and super cheap, just what we needed after our rainy wall hike.

both places
both places

We went next door to the Peking duck restaurant. There were raw ducks hanging from hooks in the kitchen that we could see from the dining area. We sat down and told the waiter we were there for the duck! He brought us two plates of condiments and a steam box thingy with one pancake thing.

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Then the duck showed up, complete with a chef to carve it table side. While he was quickly carving, some of which was delicately slicing off the roasted skin, a waitress came over to show us the drill.

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complete with shrapnel face guard!

The pancake was actually layered, and our demonstrator peeled a very thin layer off the top with chopsticks, put some meat into it, some radish, onion, garlic and goo (maybe soy sauce?), wrapped it up like a tiny burrito, and handed it to me. Then she made one for mom, who handed it over to me like the gluten-free champ that she is!

your guess is as good as mine
your guess is as good as mine

Turns out I didn’t really like the pancake, it had gone cold and gummy while the demonstration was going on. Part of the delay in eating was the carver offered me the duck’s head – several times! I asked him what to do with it, and he just kept shrugging and finally gave up and took it away with the bones. We got a pretty big kick out of that. Can anybody tell me what to do with a duck head??

The duck was good, though – and Mom very much enjoyed the skin. One of the condiments was sugar, which we were told was for dipping the skin in. In fact, you could just order duck skin with sugar a la carte from the menu.

For dessert, we walked a block to Beijing’s night market. The stalls offered up snakes, tarantulas, centipedes, starfish, testes of various sizes, silk worm cocoons, sparrows and various other things on a stick.

channeling my inner andrew zimmern
preparing to channel my inner andrew zimmern

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I decided to go with the scorpions.

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That’s right, I ATE TWO SCORPIONS.

I paid the guy, and he assured me I was making the deliciously right decision as he threw some oil in a pan and fried those suckers up for me. Early there had been a tour group passing around a scorpion for pictures before they returned it to the vendor, but it’s all about the authenticity for me.

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I chose the stick with two smaller scorpions. We stepped aside, my mom ready to hit record, and a tourist family stopped to watch. I was a little worried about the stinger (hey, it was my first scorpion – don’t judge!) but I popped one in my mouth….and it was no big deal. Tasted like a fried crunchy thing. I offered the second one to my mom, but she politely declined. As I ate the second one, my mom expressed her shock that the worlds pickiest eater had just liked a scorpion enough to have a second helping.

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see that tiny stinger? it’s there, I swear!

It was a glorious moment in my life.

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the mystery and wonder of kitchen utensils

Let’s discuss kitcheny things, shall we? My mom is an amazing chef. She sometimes teaches cooking classes, and has a myriad of different experiences in the industry. I’m not sure if she realizes what a sub-par cook I am (well, now she might – hi mom!). Regardless, we have done the “I’m gonna teach you how to cook, girl!” thing a few times. Recently it’s changed into “you should learn a few go-to recipes.” I’m sure soon it will be “don’t be afraid, girl! It’s just a piece of chicken.”

Besides patiently telling reminding me how to bake a potato when I call, she also buys me a lot of cool gadgets. This rolly thing that takes the outside of a garlic clove off. An ove glove. A mood ring meat thermometer (no numbers, just colors!).  So the world’s tiniest kitchen is pretty tricked out. Unfortunately, I’m not even sure how to use half of these things correctly. Besides – a lot of gadgets minus a dishwasher = a lot of bummer house work.

So thanks for all the cool stuff, mom! I really do appreciate everything. But today I used a ladle to eat cereal and flip a grilled cheese.

(spoiler alert: I burned one of them)

who still needs to get me a christmas present?