Yall. YALL. We found a great food delivery system. You order on an iPad, and the plate zips out and stops right in front of you. Then you take your plate and press a button to send it back. SO fun! (Also maybe a threat to my job but whatever…)
We made it to Robot Restaurant! You get your tickets across the street, and then led through this hallway mirror, up some loud, wacky stairs and into a waiting room that has gold shells for chairs, colors, mirrors, lights and chandeliers everywhere. There were two robot musicians playing jazz, the best Japanese toilet so far in the restroom, and …… YELLOW DORITOS.
We hung out here for a while, until it was time for the show to begin. We were lead back downstairs to a large room with a runway down the middle. Turns out, we had front row seats. A ringleader instructed us to not touch the robots and to “make a dodge!” if something is heading your way. This is about the time I lose words to accurately describe the pure bonkers-ness of this experience. There is lasers, smoke and explosions. There are “savages” playing giant bongo drums, there is a whole story line where a race of robot aliens is trying to take over a peaceful planet of cute robot animal friends. A robot shark and monkey battled a robot alien mistress with lasers coming out of their mouth and eyes. There were breakdancers in trippy black lights, there were musical numbers and strange voice overs and at one point they bought out a chain fence and put it in front of us to contain the robots (??). There was also a strange zebra-ception vignette, where a zebra was carrying a blow up zebra on it’s shoulders while riding a robot zebra. I don’t think words can even do this place justice.
For the rest of our stay in Japan, we were at the Super Hotel! It was very no-frills, and the check-in is on the second floor – so when we walked in the door and were greeted by buttons and an elevator, for a shining moment we thought it was going to be a robot hotel! But then a woman came to check us in, womp. It was still an interesting experience – we got to choose the type of pillow we prefer and we all received a set of pajamas (a giant, button-up night shirt – same for male and female). The women (no men!) get to pick out five things from a case of beauty products per night (so Sarah and I got ten!). I mostly got some face masks, since I already had shampoo, soap, etc. It was a funny, random thing.
We walked around the Asakusa, an older neighborhood where we were staying. There was a giant shrine right behind our hotel, with the biggest paper lantern I’ve perhaps ever seen. It was still a holiday weekend, so there were a ton of people there. In fact, there were so many people paying their respects and worshiping that there was a visible, thick cloud of incense smoke. There was also a strange fortune telling station, where you shook a metal box and a small metal stick came out of a slot. There was a paper key that correlated with the stick that told your fortune, I guess? I didn’t get too close, but you could hear the metal sticks shaking throughout the whole shrine.
We also had some tsukemen ramen at Rokurinsha, Tokyo Ramen Street, Tokyo Station. Please see the “Noodles” episode of Mind of a Chef (available on Netflix or here). There’s just a whole section of a train station devoted to small ramen places, and this one had the biggest line. We were pulled out of line, sent to a machine to order and pay, and then sent back in line to wait for a seat. This type of ramen consists of the noodles seperate from the broth, and you dip it in and eat it yourself. I’m still not sure why that is a thing as opposed to a completed dish, but it was prettttty tastyyyyy.
We had special udon noodles across town for lunch one day, where the guy was making them in the front window. Very good, and we finally got some tempura that wasn’t soggy because it was already in broth (apparently the preferred way to eat tempura everywhere else we went).
Our last day, we walked around the Harajuku neighborhood again, as we heard Sunday afternoon is the prime time for spotting the dressed up crews. We didn’t see any, but we did see their clothing shops with elaborate costumes, and other shops with wacky items and products – I was v. tempted by a pair of rainbow platform sneakers. It was true Tokyo wackiness everywhere, so it was a good way to spend our last few hours.
We got on the bullet train for about an hour ride north of Tokyo, hopped on a shuttle in a tiny town for an hour ride – and our van died going up the mountain! It was pretty high, with snow still on the mountain tops and about 55-60 degrees when we got there. Another shuttle came to rescue us.
We got there, they took our shoes (!), gave us some horrible slippers and served us some sort of savory hot tea. Then we got to pick out our yukata (a cotton robe with a sash – they had different sizes in a lot of different patterns. The guys tried to choose girl ones at first. The staff, and Sarah and I, were pretty amused by that!), and were escorted up to our rooms. Not much furniture – just a large, low coffee table and four cushions with backs. The floors were tatami, rice straw mats but surprisingly cushy.
We changed and went exploring! There was an inside bath for male and female, as well as three huge outside mixed baths and one female-only, on either side of a roaring river with several falls. There were four bears and some bunnies, as well as several different lodging buildings. There were little paths to stepping stones, water falls, little altars, statues and gazebos everywhere. To go outside, you had to trade your inside slippers for one-size-for each sex, wooden, outdoor only flip flops. The women’s were way too small for me, and the men’s were way too big.
The women had to wear a brown sack-like bathing dress, and the men had to use a hand towel to cover up – and that was it. Entire families, old people and babies were all just sitting around, enjoying the warm waters of the onsen (hot springs).
We had to be in our room by 6:30 for dinner. They came in, took away our big table and brought us each our own TV tray. (Joke!) The was a smaller version of the coffee table with quite a spread on it.
The lady who brought in our food told us how to cook and eat what, but there was so much stuff there we could only retain part of it!
Some of my favorites: A tiny, tiny glass of iced sweet, juice-like sochu (she told us was an appetizer) sashimi (we think river trout and salmon?), baby octopi, mushrooms, a potato shaped like a mushroom (so it would look good, she told us!) and a tiny fish we grilled over our own little charcoal fire pot and noodles with some ham, veg and a little broth that we added an egg to and cooked over a little flame.
My least favorites: A glob of fermented soy bean paste, pieces of seaweed jelly, a big ol squishy square of soba noodle, a giant pickle wrapped in a giant pickled radish, and a rice/potato pudding that had the same slimy texture as my least favorite thing in the entire world <link>.
We also had egg custard soup, vegetable tempura (green plants!), salt, soy sauce and other things for dipping, and cuttlefish.
Twenty minutes later, we were pretty full but she bought us all a bowl of rice and BEAR MISO SOUP. (There are signs to put visitors at ease; we do not eat the bears that are kept on the property. Although apparently they used to bath with visitors in the past.) The bear just tasted like meat in a soup, nothing special.
After dinner, we went back into the onsen while they set up our beds. Futons on the ground were laid out with pillows filled with we think rice husks. It was surprisingly comfortable and John is going to try and find a pillow like that for his bed!
The next morning we woke up early and had a dip, then went to breakfast. We ordered three western breakfasts and one Japanese one the night before. They were basically the same but the western breakfast had toast, a croissant, coffee and minestrone (yup), and the Japanese breakfast had miso soup, rice, some other strange items we couldn’t identify and a strange leaf-packet of beans with a packet of mustard. They both had salads, a raw egg, bacon, fish and cauliflower that needed to be cooked on individual griddle things. After breakfast, we packed up, got our shoes back (!), and headed back to Tokyo.
Today we had the best sushi so far. We aren’t even sure what we had and it was still my favorite! One of the pieces had what looked like grated cheese on top – it definitely wasn’t a diary product, but we still aren’t sure what it was. Some of it was boxed sushi, which we think is Kyoto-style.
We were heading to a tea shop next when we spotted a good looking tree down a small alley off a busy commercial road. We detoured and found a huge temple, with two monks playing the drums and one chanting. I popped my head in there to watch, and it was very surreal and cool, but then I realized others were not watching, but worshipping, so I left.
We went to an old timey tea shop for an afternoon treat – green tea and a Japanese sweet! It looked kind of like a pharmacy – the workers were in white lab coats, and the shop still had wooden boxes and clay jars with tea stored in them. They brought John’s tea and then taught him how to make it – pour it from one cup to another four times (in four different cups), then set the timer for 90 secs and steep, then enjoy. But only 60 seconds for the second cup, since it’s already hot. I got matcha, which they did not let me make! Must be complicated.
Next we headed to Gion to go geisha-hunting (it’s a thing!). Gion is one of the most active modern geisha districts. There were a ton of people doing the same thing we were doing – so picture a crowd of people trying to play it cool but still peeking their heads around corners and whipping their heads around any time a taxi stopped. A pretty funny phenomenon, plus it made me feel less weird about looking for women who were just going to work. They are basically professional party hostesses, not prostitutes like I kind of thought (sorry). We didn’t see any geisha, though. The area had small streets, old buildings and was very hushed, so it was still a cool area to see.
For dinner, we had ramen that was smoker then before – quite tasty but very rich.
This morning, we got up early to try and beat the tourist crowds to the bamboo forest. We didn’t beat all of them, but it still wasn’t too bad. Then we walked around the residential neighborhood behind the bamboo forest. We came upon a pond with a shed-sized shrine, and we’re walking toward it when a monkey ambled out of the woods toward us. It was bigger than Piyo, and was pretty casual about whatever errand it was on – until a couple of big ol crows came swooping in toward a tree. That monkey took off, up a pole, across some limbs and disappeared into the same tree, and then there was a lot of noises and leaf shaking. We decided not to get in the middle of it, and walked the other way. Then we wandered around the neighborhood, checking out the yards and houses. There was a couple of temples and some shrines just tucked in among the residential properties. It was nice to get away from the tourists.
We hit the Nijō Castle, built in the 1600s and totally comade of Japanese cypress. There were no pictures allowed inside the building, but the grounds were beautiful. My favorite part is that the castle has ‘Nightingale’ floors, which were wooden floorboards made to purposefully squeak so the shogun would know if somebody was coming for him in the middle of the night. With all the tourists walking around, it really sounded like they had piped a recording of birds in there – until I was lucky enough to get to a room that was almost empty and realized the noise really was just the floorboards.
John wanted to find a shop near the castle that had woodworking tools, so we went to find a cafe with wifi. What we ended up at was the Charanke Jam House, which smelled like patchouli, had rock lamps, tables that looked like tree stumps, plants everywhere, and a real Colorado-kind of vibe. ‘Charanke’ is an Ainu (native Japanese tribe) word that means ‘Talking Circle.’ The Ainu (according to the menu) kept the country in peace for more than 10000 years by living together in an open and democratic society. We were the only people in there, and the guy behind the counter did not speak very good English. But after he served us, he gave us a deck of oracle cards and showed us how to … do something. You bang your fist on the deck three times, then choose a card. I got one that was basically about embracing your need to dance and happy energy, and John got one that told him he needed to relax, and maybe try a hot springs.
The tool shop was closed, and it was starting to rain so we crossed the street to this covered pedestrian walkway and strolled around. A lot of the shops were closed or closing – we later discovered this was a big local market. We really really had to use the restroom, so we popped in this fish shop with a baseball game playing on the tv, pieces of wood balanced on crates for tables, more crates for seats, and styrofoam coolers lining the floor and a deli-like counter with suuuuper fresh seafood, waiting to be prepared. At one point a guy plucked a wiggly thing in a shell from the styrofoam box next to us, threw it on a plate with garnish, and give it to a guy a few tables down! It was full of Japanese people (always a good sign!), and after we sat down there ended up being a wait. The staff spoke very limited English – they brought over a phrase book to ask if it was ok if two other people could share a giant table with the two of us. We weren’t exactly hungry so we decided to order just something little.
We were given a sheet in English, and checked three things – tuna, salmon with cheese, and fish sausage with cheese. The guys next to us had raw fish so we kind of thought that’s what we would get. The guy brought us three tiny skewers. Apparently that was all we had ordered – three tiny little fried pieces. It was only $3 for everything, which made sense but still – Too funny!
There was a random shirt displayed hanging up in the restroom, so I tried to use my translation app to ask if I could buy it. After a lot of confusion, smiles and shoulder shrugging, she got permission to sell us a grey staff shirt (not the one hanging up, but still cool) – but she only had one. It wasn’t 100% cotton, but John wanted one and doesn’t care about the fabric makeup of his clothes. After we paid, she bought over a pink tshirt, and the translation of ‘old clothes’ on her phone, and gave it to me for free! Plus it was 100% cotton! I was so excited. After we walked away, I got the giggles because I was (and still am!) so excited about being given a used staff shirt!
Time for real dinner – a ramen adventure! There was no windows and we had to slide open this tiny (about 5 foot high) door to a hallway where people were lined up to order from a machine. You hit the buttons of what you would like, pay and it prints out a ticket – this is pretty common, even at kind of nicer places you wouldn’t expect. While we were waiting, the door opened behind us and our American friends popped in! What are the odds?! (Very, very slim, we decided. They just found this restaurant because the one they were looking for was closed. it wasn’t even a destination, must-eat place or anything.) This food ordering machine was all in Japanese, so we asked the guy in front of us to help. He spoke very limited English, and John and I both got our translators favorite. When he showed us a button for beer, and a button next to it and said ‘rice,’ I assumed he meant rice wine and hit it. After we waited just a short while longer for an open seat at a counter that maybe 10-12 seats, we handed the cooks our tickets. Instead of rice wine, I got a side of rice plus a raw egg! We all got a kick out of that. The ramen was rich and warming – perfect for a rainy evening in Kyoto.
View from the train!
After a two hour ride on the bullet train to Kyoto, a couple of stops on the local metro, and a twenty minute walk through the most tourist-congested area I have ever been in (about 20% turned up from even the busiest days in Estes Park), we got to a quiet, tiny cul-de-sac and still spent ten minutes looking for our place. Our neighborhood was beautiful, there was a giant river with green mountains in the background, by it was just so crowded that it was very hard to appreciate.
We walked back into the crowd for some dinner and found an udon (noodle) shop that wasn’t full of tourists. Then we walked around our hood – turns out the Tenryu-ji (one of the over 2000 in Kyoto!) temple and gardens were right there, as well as a bamboo forest. There were lots of shops and stalls, and guys offering tours on rickshaws.
There was a picturesque train station that only had two cable car-type lines running out of it. It was surrounded by an art installation called the Kimono Forest, where they covered lights in silk kimono fabric. There was also a $2 foot bath just on one of the train platforms. You can bet where I spent the evening.
It was only about two feet of water, with benches, tables and wifi. It was quite delightful.
The next morning we could not find breakfast, and ended up getting an early lunch at a touristy noodle house. Wanting to be adventurous, I ordered a dish that turned out to be cold soba with cold grated yam and a raw quail egg and cold broth – slippery and slimy and cold. NOT GOOD. John offered to trade with me and then he couldn’t take more than a couple of bites either.
We took a little scenic train ride through the mountains. You could ride back in a fishing boat through some light rapids, but we didn’t have time as we had to meet the rest of the Americans for dinner. So we stopped for a snack – John got takoyaki (fried octopus dumpling things) and I got fried cheese and yuba (turns out, the skin off cooked tofu). Both quite good!
We were heading for an okonamayaki (cabbage pancakes) place r\recommended to somebody in the group by an actual Japanese person, but our group of four got there first to find there was no room for us, much less the group of ten we eventually grew to be. We were a little early anyway, so when we saw a place across the street that had wifi and “Good Beer! Good Music! Good Ham!” of course we decided to wait for everybody there. And eat some ham. It was actually pretty “Good!”
Once everybody else arrived, we went across the street to a hot pot place (shabu-shabu), where we sat at two tables, ordered a lot of things that then got confused so I was never sure what exactly I was eating but it was delicious. Instead of cooking things in oil or dipping them in cheese, you cooked them in boiling soups.
Part of the group was telling us about this bonkers ice cream shop we all passed on the way there. I saw the wall of ice cream parfaits (and had already made a note to pitch a stop here after dinner) but didn’t notice the big attractions: giant parfaits in buckets, bowls, vats, some with hot dogs, shrimp tempura, or fries. There was even a $500 parfait! We headed there after dinner but (disappointingly) stayed pretty conservative with our ice cream choices .
After the baseball game, we were headed home to a tiny, tiny apartment we got for the night – it had two sets of bunk beds and not much else (advertised as sleeping six?!). Not wanting to go straight to bed, and not a lot of room we looked for a place to have a quick drink and a snack. A few of the places were closed, but we found a guy in a business suit giving heartfelt, exuberant goodbyes to people seeing him out the door up a tiny set of stairs. I asked him if it was fun up there, and he replied “oh yes, oh yes!” and ushered us up and in! (Well, we think. He was not speaking English, exactly. And also drunk.)
We came into a small room, smaller than the size of the living room in a duplex I share with two other people – and that included a small open kitchen and a small counter with about six seats on one side, and about three tables with benches on one side, chairs on the other. There was a couple at the counter, three guys at the tables, the host brandishing a microphone and a smile toward us, and the hostess kind of fretting around us – we think she was worried we were expecting a different experience or weren’t into karaoke? However, she warmed up to us pretty quickly – amazing what four charming but confused smiles can get you! The youngest person in there was easily at least 50 years old. One of the guys at the table was leaned back, casually singing a Japanese song into a mic. We were seated at the counter – last four seats in the house!
We were given some drinks – we think shochu, a Japanese liquor, with ice they kept aggressively replenishing. The host handed me a song machine with the English setting on, and told me to choose a song! While I was deliberating, the hostess brought us each some tiny little helpings of curried potato stew. As the night went on, she would randomly bring us other snacks. Tofu with some sort of savory topping, what we’re pretty sure were wood ear mushrooms (soaked or stewed in soy maybe? They were surprisingly good), fried Japanese edible plant (it was SO good that we asked what it was, and “edible plant” was the translation the hostess + Google gave us), some pumpkin dip with ritz crackers (also so great I asked – pumpkin, mayo, sugar and chives).
Sarah and I sang Abba’s Dancing Queen, Matt and John sang Elvis’s Hound Dog, then the Japanese guys sang Hound Dog right after they loved it so much! We insisted the others take turns, so they sang Japanese songs in between. The guy from the couple (I’d guess late 70s) and I sang Sinatra’s My Way while his wife danced with John. The hostess and host sang songs, in between her serving us random snacks and him plying us with ice cubes. The other guys sang and chatted with us to the best of their ability. It was quite the experience.
We knew it was time to go when an almost 80 year old tried to dip me and dropped me on the counter (I didn’t exactly trust this frail old guy, so I was ready for the drop). Before we left, the host and hostess each gave John their business cards and of course we took a bunch of selfies with everybody’s phones (theirs and ours!).
We picked up our baseball tickets at a Japanese post office, where they were sent from the guy John bought them from (using a stubhub-like service). John showed him his ID and a sentence in Japanese on his phone that the guy typed in an email – voilà! Succesfully navigated the Japanese postal system (I guess).
We walked to the stadium and asked an attendant outside which gate we should go in. Since we happened to walk right up to the gate nearest our seats, and the concession tunnels were small and unassuming, I was expecting a smaller stadium. We walked out toward our center field seats and were wowed by the size of the stadium and the crowd.
We were in the Tokyo Giants section, the visiting team, in a hometown rivalry game against the Tokyo Swallows. There were multiple chants with each players name fit in to each yell. First I would make up silly syllables to chant, but then I realized everrryyyybody was wearing some hardcore fan gear, including a lot of jerseys (about half with players’ names in English, half in Japanese characters). So we would figure out which player was up from a combo of the chants/fans jerseys. It was a lot of fun to be an actual part of the crowd instead of just spectating.
I thought I would switch it up and get what I thought was a basket of French fries and fish sticks. They were right next to the chicken strips/fries basket, but that one didn’t have the smiley faces. It turned out to be a big ol bucket of fried potatoes in various shapes! Hey I’m not complaining, but I did get a green juice from the konbini later that evening.
The beer girls carried around tiny kegs on their back for draft beer delivery. They also, strangely, wore baseball hats folded up and pinned onto their heads, instead of the, ah, more traditional hat wearing style. The home team had cheerleaders, and the Swallow mascot was carrying a giant bottle of yogurt on his back (their team is sponsored by Yakult Yogurt, the other team by what we think is a vitamin company?). At one point a fan from each team was chosen from the audience, made the big screen split-screen, and they played rock, paper, scissors against each other! 2 out of 3, and Giants won!
The Swallows ultimately won the game, and the manager came out and addressed the crowd and led them in some chants, the mvp shot tshirts with a cannon into the crowd and there was more cheer/mascot dancing. It was quite a way to end a game.
Meredith R. Allen 
