Tag: growing up

now what?

I have taken my last class. Turned in my last assignment. Set my long-winded college president’s emails as ‘spam.’ Walked across the stage in a cap and gown and my mom’s borrowed pumps.

So uh, now what?

insert iron maiden pun here

Yes, this is a real conversation. No, my hotshot is not a misogynist. No, we don’t use that many emoticons all the time… or ever. Are we even using them properly? Who’s to say. Why did I even use a flamenco dancer? No clue. These are not the important facts, people!

Last week I ran out of Downy Wrinkle Release Spray, so… I bought an iron. And an ironing board. And I keep it properly stored (upright, water emptied!). BOOM. Take that, adulthood! Since then I have been ironing everything in sight.

(What even is this thing?)

So if anybody needs anything ironed, let me know. I’ll be happy to knock it out with my new awesome iron.

PS – I’ll still have to borrow my hotshot’s vacuum every other week. One thing at a time, people!

living with peter pan syndrome

Peter Pan Syndrome is a real thing, and it afflicts more people than you probably realize. Know a girl who has to set an alarm for 10:30 am? PPS. A guy who calls his mom every time he does laundry? PPS. That twenty-something-year-old who dresses like a twelve-year-old? PPS.

Peter Pan Syndrome is the inability to grow up and act one’s age. It is not to be confused with immaturity, laziness or a lack of good judgment. Although sometimes those are contributing factors, PPS usually results in much funnier (rather than serious) consequences. I personally know the challenges of living with PPS, because I have PPS. And it’s getting ridiculous.

My first trip to the laundromat a few weeks ago can be summed up in one embarrassing word – flood. I lost all but one of my forks in my last move. I recently discovered what happens when you don’t wash new towels before you use them. And before you ask, no I am not an eighteen year old who just moved out on her own – I have been out of my parents’ house – in a different state, nonetheless – for six years. See? It’s just silly.

I dunno, maybe it’s me. I’m not a Dumb Bunny so maybe it’s luck or fate or the energy I’m putting out into the world or something – whatever the cause, it has culminated as Peter Pan Syndrome. I just can’t do anything adult-y right the first time around. This has given me some good stories, but it makes it hard to be taken seriously. Now that I’ve planned to document them, perhaps they’ll stop – or I’ll just become even more forgetful every time I sit down to write. At the very least, others can be as entertained by my life as I am. At the most, I learn to appreciate the ridiculousness.