story time – bond style

What is the only thing that could ruin the premiere of Skyfall? Not a lot, but a probably drunk underage chick puking on you will certainly do it.

All names and places have been changed to protect the innocent (SIKE! If I knew this chick’s name, I’d totally tell you.) Well, actually she didn’t puke on me. She sat down right next to me but after she started moaning during the previews and her boyfriend ran to get her a large empty cup, I moved to the other side of my hotshot. An empty chair is all that separated him and this chick, but she passed out right as the movie started so we figured it was all good (well not good, but you know what I mean). Why this couple chose to sit right in the middle of the row, in a midnight premiere of a super crowded, highly anticipated movie, I’ll never know.

About halfway through, she sat up and let loose….and guess what? That large fountain cup wasn’t big enough. She was pretty nonchalant about it, her boyfriend was embarrassed, I was covering my ears and trying not to gag, and my hotshot was bolting out of the row. It was a hot mess. I hit the bathroom, trying not repeat her performance. My hotshot, braver than I, had actually seen her throw up all over her sweater and hair, and was describing it to me (I think in defense of his immediate reaction to run away and leave me there).

Her boyfriend and his pals congregated in the back of the theater, discussing how to get her home (ummm, drive her there?). He was super apologetic to my hotshot, explaining that she hadn’t been feeling well all evening – and this some made it worse. You don’t stick around a super crowded, highly anticipated movie theater if you need to bring something to puke in with you.

Have I mentioned this was a super crowded, highly anticipated movie?

It may take a while before I can stomach to finish this movie, but the first third of it was awesome (visually stunning!).

it gets intimate as i reveal the deep dark secrets…of my Netflix queue.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my Netflix recommendations:
Suspenseful TV Dramas Featuring a Strong Female Lead

Am I a feminist and never realized it? Or is my obsession with Revenge not a particularly well-kept secret?

Classic Witty Romantic Comedies

What can I say? I’m a classy witty chick who likes to laugh. No questions here.

British Crime TV Shows from the 1980s

here’s the only reasoning I was given:

Your taste preferences created this row:

  • 1980s
  • TV shows

Lol oh Netflix… Who doesn’t love the 1980s and TV shows, honestly?

Critically-Acclaimed Visually-Striking Foreign Dramas

This is where it gets a bit weird. Sorry cinema snobs, but critically acclaimed movies are usually sad or require me to think – not exactly what I’m looking for in entertainment. Also I hate subtitles. Fail, Netflix.

Feel-Good Talking-Animal Animation for ages 8 to 10

Uhhh….awkward. Not that I don’t love feel-good talking-animal animation, actually. Have y’all seen Despicable Me?! Adorbs. It’s just awkward to see this listed with such a specific age group. (Is this indicative of my comprehension level of movies? No wonder I don’t like critically-acclaimed visually-striking foreign dramas!)

Inspiring Biographical Fight-the-System Documentaries

The title of this row makes me go “huh?” Then I saw the first recommendation is about Ben and Jerry building their empire and go “ohhhh.” It’s like Netflix really knows I’d like to be highbrow but love ice cream too much. Whoa, complex. This probably means the rise of the machines can’t be too far off.

Emotional Independent Father-Son Movies

Umm what? I don’t even…..huh? Scratch that last rise of the machines prediction – Netty can’t even get my gender right.

Gritty Thrillers

This probably says a lot more about me than my subconscious preference for strong female leads.

Violent Action & Adventure Based on Real Life

It’s like Netflix refuses to believe I’m a girl. Or is trying to convince me to get in touch with my inner masculine side. (There is nothing wrong with that, right? Completely normal for a chick to be into violent action. Somebody reassure me! …please?)

*Not listed: a bunch of quirky things. Quirky Sitcoms and Quirky TV Shows, etc. What can I say? Apparently I’m quirky. It does have a nicer ring to it than ‘odd,’ which is what I’m used to. So I guess thanks for that, Netty.